I miss blogging in English. I love writing in English. So here I am. And I miss you.
It's been hard lately and I, too, need support. It is hard to do it alone. I can't do it alone. And even though I have been out of bingeing and the compulsion for quite a long time, there are times when it is hard, when I have food thoughts going through my mind. Images of chocolate ice cream appear, or chocolate bars, or chocolate cookies (anything chococate goes...). And then, immediately and I should say: automatically, I remember how I felt when I used to binge on this kind of foods. I felt like shit.
Now, when times are hard and I NEED to eat something even if I am not hungry, I go for a healthy raw food, fruits or smoothie or raw cacao nibs and goji berries or raw sorbet. It satisfies me and I am not hurting my body. And I let the storm pass. I feel down for a few hours and try to see what's going on.
Since I am not going high on refined sugars or other processed foods, I am able to think and feel. I usually understand what's going on pretty quickly so I can move on fast as well.
And I feel like, wow.... am I still a binge eater?! is it: "once a binge eater, always a binge eater"? Maybe. I have been formatted to react to any emotional issues using food as an escape. It started at a very young age and lasted for many years. So I have to be very kind to myself, and very patient, loving and understanding. I am not perfect and God this is hard to admit. I am NOT perfect. I do the best I can whatever the circumstances are. And I go on and forward.
I still have a long way to go because it never stops. Once on the path of healing, and especially on the path of living and raw foods, there is no way back. Every day has its new discoveries, ideas, thoughts, 
emotions and experience. And yes, there are hard times. And this is when I need you the most, this is when I go onto the forums like www.giveittomeraw.com and post some questions, ask for help, join new groups and send some new friend requests. Because alone I can't do it.
So yes, I'll blog more often, promised! It makes me feel connected.
Love to all, Anne
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